The Proverbs 31 Woman - Part 3

The Proverbs 31 woman is a WORKER.

v. 13 says
She looks for wool and flax,
And works with her hands in delight.

Those of you who sew might easily see yourself here, but I think in a broader sense, this Proverbs 31 woman enjoys being creative. She is producing something for her husband or children and she delights in it. I am sure at different stages in our lives, we have all done something creative in our homes [make curtains, decorate the table, set out holiday decorations, make a nursery, rearrange the furniture]. Think of one or two creative things you have done.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a WORKER. That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?

v. 14 says
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.

If this were a “Bible study,” maybe we would talk about the Hebrew culture at this point. But, this is us -- What in the world does this verse mean to us today? Grocery shopping! Could your family survive if you gave up those weekly (sometimes daily) trips to the store?

Did I say the Proverbs 31 woman is a WORKER?

v. 15 says
She rises also while it is still night,
And gives food to her household,
And portions to her maidens.

My first thought here was “Yeah, right, I don’t do that.” But, I have and so have you. When your baby cried in the middle of the night (two and three and four and five times in the middle of the night), who got up to feed him? You did. Your thoughts were not first of sleep, but of taking care of your child. Your child’s needs came first (whether you bottle-fed or breast-fed).

I think this verse is really talking about managing your household. Making sure things are running smoothly; everyone is where they are supposed to be, dressed and fed and nurtured. You do that every time you pack a diaper bag or a lunchbox, every time you prepare a meal or get your child ready for school.

The Proverbs 31 Woman - Part 2

The Proverbs 31 woman is to be GOOD TO HER HUSBAND.

v. 12 says
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

That sounds so simple. Of course we want to do good for our husbands. We are not putting arsenic in his food or even swishing his toothbrush in the toilet when he isn’t looking. But, at 5:17 PM when I have a hot meal on the table and Paul isn’t home yet and I’ve got one kid screaming in my ear and the other one pulling on my leg, what ARE my intentions for him? Am I thinking, “Oh the poor dear, must be stuck in traffic again?” Or am I screaming on the inside: “Just wait until that so-and-so gets home; he can take care of the kids and I don’t care if his food IS cold? I’m going to go take a bath and see how he likes just being stuck all alone here!”

When I feel more like that, verse 12 gives me something to shoot for. Do him “good and not evil.” Sometimes I have to repeat that verse until it clicks. “Doing good” means saying uplifting and edifying words to my husband; "doing good" means washing his shirts without him asking me; "doing good" means greeting him at the door with a smile instead of shoving kids into his hands and pouring out my day like acid in his face.

In the book, The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace, she says “The goal of the Christian husband and wife in their marriage is to have a oneness that is characterized by a loving spiritual and physical bond that glorifies God and thereby enhances personal spiritual growth (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:22-33; Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 13:4)” [pg. 33]. She references Luke 17:10 which says, “So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘we are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'”

“Giving of yourself to your husband is not going above and beyond the call of duty. It is only doing as you ought. You ought to be kind to your husband. You ought to be open, transparent and honest with him.” [pg. 32].

A Timely Word

Where does it go? We are always looking for it. We can never find it when we really need it. It comes and then vanishes like a bubble, without even a little pop. The evidence is all around us though. My daughter will be studying for her driver’s test this year. My son is in “training” for a para-military organization. So, time does exist. And time does fly!

I remember Holly’s first dance recital when she stood on stage with a bunch of other cute “munchkins” and we cheered amongst giggles as she wiggled her hips from side to side and then performed a somersault! This week, she will dance on that stage for the 11th time! Her instructors no longer stand up front reminding her what to do – she remembers it all! She makes quick costume changes. Her ballet, tap and jazz moves are so much more complicated and deserving of applause. She has shown herself dedicated and responsible in many areas of her life. Where did my little girl go?

I remember Elijah running around in the backyard with Nerf guns – okay, he still does that, but they are much bigger now. And now, I’m told, he may be taken into the woods to learn to shoot M16s! He keeps his room neater and he is showing a new commitment and perseverance level we haven’t seen before. Where did my little boy go?

Don’t get me wrong, I have always enjoyed the “getting older” bit. I loved seeing them graduate from diapers, training wheels, and I Can Read Books. But, now I think, “Our time left together is short.” There may be schools, jobs, marriages, and family obligations that will part us in the not-so-very distant future. Is there enough time left to teach them what they really need to know? Is there enough time to ensure that they are stable in their faith and ready for the persecution that is coming? Is there even enough time to just “be together,” without the rush, rush, rush of life pushing all around us?

Are we just “running to and fro” (Daniel 12:4) or are we running to something worthwhile? Are we “using our time wisely?” And what does that mean? And what does that look like? If all else fails, I know: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4).

If they walk in the truth, and we walk in the truth, then when this life fails, we shall have the gift of all the time of eternity.

The Waffle Lesson

Below is an object lesson I wrote for my daughter’s Missionette class, so the examples are juvenile and relevant to middle-schoolers, but I hope we can all find and apply a piece to ourselves.

A lot of times we organize our life like a waffle. We put our family in one square, school in another, dance class in another. We may act the same in one square as another or we may act totally different. Here is a square for friends, here is a square for boys, here is a square for enemies.

One day, we get “saved” and we try to shove Jesus into an empty square. Maybe we add a church square too. But our waffle squares never mix. If I have a fight with my mom in the family square, then I go to the school square and forget all about it. I get into trouble in science class, but later in my friend square, I laugh about it. Then, I see some girl who used to be in my friend square go over to my boy square and start flirting with the boy I like. So, I beat her up, yell at him, go home, eat dinner and get ready for bed. Then, just before I close my eyes, I remember my Jesus square. I say a minute-long generic prayer about all my problems and go to sleep.

That is how it is sometimes. But, is that how it is supposed to be? No. When I gave my life to Christ, I gave Him the WHOLE waffle. I died to self (Mark 8:34-35) and told Him that He could live THRU me -- He could use my body, my mouth, my brain -– for HIS glory. So, Jesus doesn’t get a square. Jesus is the syrup. He comes and fills EVERY square.

When Jesus fills up the family square, then HE lives obedient to my parents inside my body. Jesus showed ultimate obedience to authority/parents when He died on the cross, so I know that He can do the dishes, clean my room and speak respectfully THRU me.

When Jesus fills up the friend square, suddenly I am a good influence on my friends. I don’t follow them to R-rated movies, I don’t curse, drink, smoke, skip school or act mean. Jesus was the ultimate example of love -– He died for His friends in order to give them life. So, I know He can be a great friend THRU me.

When Jesus fills up the boy square, suddenly I have pure thoughts about boys. I don’t want boys to sin in their thoughts or actions because of me. So, I dress modestly, speak kindly and encourage them in their Christian walk. Jesus is the ultimate bridegroom, so I know that He can live purity THRU me.

I know that Jesus has a plan for my future, so I don’t have to fight for it! He will live the perfect life THRU me if I let Him fill up all my squares.

…We have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. Colossians 1:9-10

In Progress

If you plant a seed, you know it will take a week or two before you see any signs of life.  And then you watch this feeble little stem begin to come up out of the ground.  You can look at the plant everyday and notice a little more growth.  The stem thickens and grows taller.  Leaves sprout and buds form.  Soon you have fruit or flowers and you hardly remember the day when you planted the seed.

Children are like that.  In Psalm 127:3, we find that our reward is in “the fruit of the womb” and, in Psalm 128:3, children are compared to “olive plants round about thy table.”  Children are begun as seed in the womb; we don’t see them for a time.  They are “underground” in our bellies, yet growing all the time.

Then, they burst forth – ouch!  And, at first, we can watch each tiny developing stage.  It happens so quickly and we are so focused on our little one that we can see growth happening.  They get a little longer, they add a little weight, they begin to reach and stretch and hold onto things.  We watch them begin to focus on the world around them and soon they are sitting, crawling, walking, running.

Those first few years, everything happens so quickly, we can see it.  But, then that rapid growth fades and changes become more gradual, more subtle.  Suddenly, I am looking at a young woman and a young man – where did the time go?  And look how much they’ve changed. 

They’ve gained a hundred pounds and grown three or four feet taller. They can outrun me.  Sometimes they outthink me.  They’ve changed in manner, attitude, and behavior.  But, it all happened so slowly that I missed a lot of it.  It is good to note the progress and the change.  And it is good to note whether the needs of the plant/child have changed.  Do they need fertilizer/love?  Do they need more water/love or nutrients/love?  Do they need pruning/discipline?  Do they need more or less sunshine/social activity?  Am I talking to my plant or listening to my child enough?

As I consider some of the progress we’ve made lately, I see:

1.       My son is able to clean his room well and on his own.  This is a miraculous growth spurt over last year.

2.       My daughter has begun to speak unprompted in social settings – not often, but enough to show me that she is beginning to come out of her shell.

3.       Traces of responsibility are showing up:  picking up something off the floor unasked (even when they were not the one who dropped it!); stopping the “stall” during school work and just getting the work done without (much) complaint; working out differences without parental intervention; maintaining regular “Rat Club” dues, paying for pet food and accessories, and taking care of all pet rat needs without a bit of complaint.

I can think of some more progress I’d like to see.  Some days I am anxious for the fruit and the flowers.  But, they are not ripe yet.  We still have years of cultivation ahead.  I thank God for allowing me to tend this little patch of His garden.