Conspiracy Theory 451

So, it started because I was looking for a book at the library and couldn't find it. I wasn't even sure I wanted to re-read the thing, something that was required reading when I was in school (lo, these many years ago). But, the fact that it wasn't there, wasn't available at the library, was an irony too huge to be missed.

Now, I have lamented the waning book sections at our library for years. I'm pretty sure there are more video shelves and computer space available than there is room for good ol' fashioned books. And they seem to sell off a lot of "important" books and keep a lot of nonsense. But, not to have THIS book? The ultimate irony.

The book, of course, is Fahrenheit 451. This book is about censorship. It is about books and how a future culture will do away with books. In fact, it will be socially unacceptable and even illegal to read books. The fact that I couldn't find it seemed like a conspiracy was taking place.

Now, it is always smart to check on conspiracy theories and, as it turns out, mine was completely fabricated by my own incompetence. I had spelled "fahrenheit" without the first "h" and thereby missed finding it by "that much." My public library is exonerated -- I can get a copy of the book quite easily. So much for irony. The real irony is that a fake conspiracy got me reading.

But, I didn't know that, so I bought the book from a used bookseller and began a frenzied read to find out what I was being kept from reading. What was embedded in this book that my younger self rolled her eyes over and probably didn't notice or understand? I found a few things that were truly intriguing for me and possibly for all those in the homeschool arena.

First, author Ray Bradbury did a masterful job of describing his future/our present-day life. From his 1950's college library, he predicted that everyone would be walking around with ear buds, shutting out the world around them. That TV would be prevalent everywhere (think most restaurants these days) and that their noise, color, violence and reality shows (and interactive reality shows!) would overwhelm any intelligent thought. That the people on TV would be the friends and "family" of those watching, more than people you shared a room, or even a bed with (think social media). He didn't foresee that there would be hand-held versions/smartphones, but the idea was purely there.

And then, it got really interesting. As the Fire Chief (who in this culture burns the books) tries to explain to our hero, Fireman Guy Montag, why the books can't be allowed to be read anymore; he states:

"...let's take up the minorities in our civilization, shall we?  Bigger the population, the more minorities. Don't step on the toes of the dog lovers, the cat lovers, doctors, lawyers, merchants, chiefs, Mormons, Baptists, Unitarians, second-generation Chinese, Swedes, Italians, Germans, Texans, Brooklynites, Irishmen, people from Oregon or Mexico. The people in this book, this play, this TV serial are not meant to represent any actual painters, cartographers, mechanics anywhere. The bigger your market, Montag, the less you handle controversy, remember that! All the minor minor minorities with their navels to be kept clean. Authors, full of evil thoughts, lock up your typewriters. They did.  Magazines became a nice blend of vanilla tapioca. Books so the [cursing] snobbish critics said, were dishwater. No wonder books stopped selling, the critics said. But, the public, knowing what it wanted, spinning happily, let the comic books survive. And the 3-D sex magazines, of course. There you have it, Montag. It didn't come from the Government down. There was no dictum, no declaration, no censorship to start with, no! Technology, mass exploitation, and minority pressure carried the trick, thank God. Today, thanks to them, you are allowed to read comics, the good old confessions, or trade journals." 

This is so obvious in our culture today, I probably don't need to say anything else. You can't criticize the President without being suspected of racism; you can't even think of not baking a cake for gay wedding; and standing up for life might lead to your death. Everyday, somebody is apologizing for something. Some comment that offended somebody. Because there are so many somebodies in this global world we live in. Maybe it was simpler once, when you were offensive in your small hometown, you could at least leave and start over somewhere else. Here and now, give a false or unliked tweet and you you may never have another moment free of regret or reaction. Forevermore, you will be the guy who said whatever it was you said (right or wrong).

Montag questions further as to why the firemen are necessary in this dystopic future -- basically, why did the government get involved? Fire Chief Beatty answers:

"What more easily explained and natural? With school turning out more runners, jumpers, racers, tinkerers, grabbers, snatchers, fliers and swimmers instead of examiners, critics, knowers, and imaginative creators, the word 'intellectual,' of course, became the swear word it deserved to be. You always dread the unfamiliar. Surely you remember the boy in your own school class who was exceptionally 'bright,' did most of the reciting and answering while the others sat like so many leaden idols, hating him. And wasn't it this bright boy you selected for beatings and tortures after hours? Of course it was. We must all be alike. Not everyone born free and equal, as the Constitution says, but everyone made equal. Each man the image of every other; then all are happy, for there are no mountains to make them cower, to judge themselves against. So! A book is a loaded gun in the house next door. Burn it..."  [bolding, mine]

It becomes clear that books make us think. Later it is further clarified that our own reason will help us decide if the book is teaching us something worth knowing or not. And, if not, our reason will help us to sort it out and let it go. In the meantime, the mind can hold on to that which is good in that book, or in another. But, either way, the book lead us to think.

These comments made me think about our present-day schools. Are they turning out "examiners, critics, knowers, and imaginative creators"?  I'm willing to bet that the kids who are turning out that way get additional encouragement at home or from books.

Common Core curriculum is doing its best to remove or change the classic literature choices for schools. Many books that were once considered classics are now frowned upon because they might offend (I'm thinking Huckleberry Finn, Uncle Tom's Cabin, and the Bible).

There is one young girl in Montag's town who seems to still think for herself. Clarisse McClellan challenges much of Montag's ideals, shakes him out of his passive, non-thinking life. How did she maintain this culture of thinking?  Beatty tells us:

"...Heredity and environment are funny things.  You can't rid yourselves of all the odd ducks in just a few years. The home environment can undo a lot you try to do at school. That's why we've lowered the kindergarten age year after year until now we're almost snatching them from the cradle..." [bolding, mine]

As a homeschooler, I nearly jumped as I read this quote; did you? The world around is is trying to take our children earlier and earlier. Trying to have the most influence. Moms are encouraged to go back to work within weeks of having a baby, and preschool beckons with glittering force. Summer camps and even VBS are offered so that the little time parents do have with their kids is cut even shorter. Why? I love the acknowledgement that "the home environment can undo a lot you try to do at school."

This book made me think. If you haven't read it, or it has been a long while, you might want to read it (again). Encourage your high schoolers to read it too and discuss how it is like/not like our current culture.

Don't have a copy?  Ahem, you can probably find it at your local library.

[This book is definitely upper-level and PG for some old-fashioned cuss words.]

Love or Laziness?

I hope this doesn't come off as too judgmental. What I intend is to chastise and encourage myself along with anyone else who reads this who has been likewise guilty. I am sure I have been on multiple occasions!

Let me start with my observations at the beach yesterday. It was a beautiful day, albeit a little too chilly to go in the water. My son was involved in Sea Cadet drills and had to make plenty of runs into the water and back to the sand and I did not envy him one bit. But, sitting on the beach was sweet.

The first "offense" that came in my line of sight was a girl and guy lazing out on their beach blanket together. After a while, the girl sat up and started fooling with her phone, as all young people must do every five minutes these days. I get it. When the young man sat up and started talking with her (for quite a long time period), her eyes never wavered from the screen. She responded with words a few times, but kept her focus intently on that electronic gizmo. I don't usually carry my phone and it really isn't a smart phone -- it doesn't do anything but bring phone calls to me, and that rarely. But, I started wondering. Have I treated my husband this way when I am reading or watching TV? The answer is, unfortunately, yes. Not always, but occasionally, I really want to do what I want to do. I am reminding myself here that my husband deserves my full attention. How humiliating to be given second place to an electronic device or a bunch of papers.   

The second offense was with these two sweet babies, maybe two years old. They were laughing and running in the little waves on the sand. They were having a blast. But, where was mom? She was a good 20 feet back. She looked at the kids from time to time; they did not have her full attention. If a wave had knocked her little ones over, that might have been it. Toddlers can easily drown in a few inches of water. I was thankful that they left shortly thereafter and I didn't have to keep worrying about them. The weekend before, we had been driving in a local neighborhood and saw a toddler playing in the street. Her parents were sitting in chairs in the driveway, probably 10 feet from the action. When they saw our car, they looked toward their toddler, hoping she would remove herself from the situation. Can you believe she didn't? And she also didn't listen to their whining, "get out of the road!" They actually had to slowly stand up and go to her and pick her up. We could tell this was a lot of trouble for them. But, thankfully, they did it. And, thankfully, we hadn't been speeding through and were able to stop for this adventure. Please, parents of little ones, watch your kids! In the water or in the parking lot, please hold their hands! Teach them not to play in the street! And don't be afraid to touch them, pick them up and move them ANYtime that you see their lives are in danger.  

The third offense was again at the beach. Three little girls, aged 3 to 6, I'd guess, were walking up the dunes to the bathroom. Their mom tells them not to go so fast because she must go with them. The girl in front is yelling, "I really have to go!" She is doing the dance. But, mom was impaired. She wasn't able to easily walk (certainly not run) up the little hill. She was handicapped by the phone in her hand. She was reading a text or texting or something equally important. She stopped stock-still in the sand while the little girls are pleading with her again, "Please, Mommy, I gotta go! I can't hold it!" The mom responded neither in word or deed. (I notice parents don't answer their children a lot these days, but that is a different rant.) Something very fascinating must have been on that phone. Possibly kittens dancing on youtube or something like that. I am reminding myself again here to not neglect my children, especially for mundane reasons, selfish desires, and sheer laziness. I remember finding myself talking on the phone a lot when my children were younger (pre-cell-phone days) and robbing them of my attention. I made a decision back then to let the answering machine pick up if I was involved with them. I am now nearly phone-phobic because of that, but it was worth it. Now, my kids are older and can take themselves to the bathroom. But, I do remember what it was like when I was responsible for everybody's else's bladders. I didn't enjoy that job. But, the bottom line is, you have to make up your mind to this, they come first. Answer them when they ask you things, get them to the bathroom, meet their physical needs as best you can. Lay the phone down and save it for when you are alone -- when the children are sleeping, if possible.

I am inherently lazy. It is part of my sin nature. So, I must remind myself all the time not to let my laziness influence my children's behavior (not to model too much of it) and not to allow it to affect our relationship. I will choose talking with them, listening to them, playing games with them, helping them, and caring for them as my first obligation and joy. It may not seem like a joy at the time, but the memories and character developed will be a joy later. I think I will go see what they are doing right now.

Colossians 3:23-24
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

A New Year Cometh

This article originally appeared in the Pitter Patter newsletter of my MOPS group in January 2000.  We were facing a new year, a new decade, a new millennium.  A few things have changed over the the last 11 years, so I have updated a few spots in [brackets] and in color.

It is strange to think that not only were we raised in a different century from our children, but a different millennium. And certainly this is a different “age.”

The age of technology is upon us. My three year old has already mastered her “preschool” computer program. She can click her way through the screens as well as mom. Mom never touched a computer before junior high and then it was the one computer in the whole school for “kid use” – a TRS-80. It worked off of cassette tapes somehow. Sounds like ancient history.  [Okay, so this really is ancient history, my now-teenagers are playing games over the internet with friends in other neighborhoods, took their driving test online, use Google instead of a dictionary or an encyclopedia, and rapidly assimilate new physics apps on the iPad.]

In the “good old days” my brother and I spent Saturday mornings glued to the TV set with such questionable fare as Bugs Bunny, Road Runner and Pepe LePew. They [child psychologists and parents] worried at the time about us not understanding why the coyote did not get hurt when he fell into the canyon. My children are not allowed to watch Saturday morning cartoons due to violence, bad language, bad attitudes, poor adult role models, and new age doctrines that are not hidden, but openly displayed. And forget regular daytime/ nighttime TV too. The coarse humor, overt sexual relations, and the “selling” of the homosexual lifestyle have made this hobby a thing of the past for my family.  [The main TV show my children have grown up with is Extreme Makeover:  Home Edition which is now about to go off the air!  We were pretty good about keeping TV limited to that one hour a week, with "safe" videos thrown in here and there.  With some new digital TV stations, this year my kids have branched out to Batman (Adam West), Get Smart and Hogan's Heroes.  It has been fun watching them get a kick out of all the oldie goldies.]

School was a safe place for children to go and learn when I was growing up. Our children will find that a laughable statement. A teacher could hug you and love you like a surrogate parent. Now they are afraid to brush against a child for fear of lawsuits.  [This year alone, I have heard of 8 kids hit by cars at their bus stops, 2 bus drivers who went to battle with students on their buses, a bus driver that wouldn't let a parent board, teachers and principal who fell into the pits of pornography, sexual abuse, and cheating with and for their students.  Bullying continues to sky-rocket even with all this "tolerance training."  We opted instead for the last 10 years to homeschool.  Our homeschool isn't perfect:  we are behind in some things.  But, my children know the Lord, they tend toward kind and respectful, and we know each other.]

[I wrote this article BEFORE the events of 9/11...just think of how that one event affected our lives.  Airport security; field trip tours to the dairy, the newspaper, and other interesting places; bag checks at theme parks,  and so much more!]

Doctors used to know you and your family and your history. [Uh, let me know if you can find one of those near me.]  Restaurant and grocery store employees used to be friendly and competent.  [Not to be rude, but if the power goes out, nobody knows what to do.  There is no way for a cashier to tally up your groceries (they are not visibly marked anymore) even if she is able to do the math.  I have noticed with the recent recession that workers are tending to be happier in having a job and working harder to keep them.]

This new society begs the question, “How can a young man keep his way pure?” The answer, however old-fashioned, is still “By keeping it according to Thy word.” (Psalm 119:9)

How can we best help our children in the New Millennium? By teaching them God’s Word from the Bible and giving them God’s standards for living. Maybe they won’t fit in with their generation. I pray they will not.

How do I keep my middle-schooler going and not fight me ALL THE TIME about doing school work?

This question was posted on Christian Homeschoolers Taking a Stand.  I had to laugh.  I'm not always that successful on this one.  From age 10 or 11, each of my children took a slightly more adversarial stance about everything.  I've tried, first of all, not to take it personally.  I believe it is a phase, but one that has to be worked through.  My oldest is almost 15 and we are seeing light at the end of a long tunnel.  Here are some of the ways we have tried over the years:

1.  We remind them of Ephesians 6:1-3.  The first day of homeschooling, we undertook to memorize this verse.  It was the first thing we did and they know it, they know it, they know it.  They know that what we as parents require is "for their own good" and that if they want to "do well and live long," they will obey us, pure and simple.  So, sometimes, a simple reminder with a smile will do.

2.  At other times, we have instituted incentive programs.  At the end of the last school year, I had one that worked well.  We were getting ready for a big vacation to Alaska.  I tacked an envelope to the wall with the monetary figure $20.00 written on it.  I let them know that they would be getting that promised amount IF they discontinued "the stall" which had become such a part of our daily lives.  But, every time I caught them using a stall tactic (including arguing about why they needed to do this), I would deduct fifty cents from their total.  Unfortunately, I hestitated over the first few times and gave too much mercy.  But, one day, I did it.  I walked over and slashed the $20.00 and wrote $19.50.  That was it.  That was the last stall that we faced for several months.

The things to remember about incentive programs is that they must pay off and the pay off shouldn't be too distant.  A year is generally to long to wait, but 9 weeks isn't too bad.  And it doesn't have to be money, it could be any privelege.  We used to give tickets for the amount of schoolwork done each day in order to have time on the computer.  No tickee -- no playee.  We have rewarded certain numbers of books read with outings or new books. 

3.  Sometimes, I've had to take a step back and say, "Why is this child fighting so much?"  Is there something else going on?  And sometimes there was.  Sometimes there was unforgiveness in a heart that needed changing.  Sometimes there was sleep deprivation.  Sometimes there was anger that one sibling's work was more/less than the other.  And sometimes they just needed a break. 

We, as adults, don't think too much about working all day and then some more.  But, kids need fresh air, they need change of pace, and they need rest in order for their brains to keep working.  At different times, we've had to adjust the break levels and add in snacks.  When they plaintively ask, "Can't we take a break now?"  I don't ignore that.  Our school day generally runs something like this:

8:00 AM - Breakfast/Bible/Read Alouds/Morning Chores

8:30 AM - School Work (schedule varies, but math is always during this slot)

10:00 AM - SNACK BREAK -- for my kids -- this is the most important meal of the day!!!

10:15 AM - Return to School Work

12:00 N - Lunch (We sometimes do work over lunch, sometimes not)

After lunch, we finish up school between 1:30-3:00 PM depending on what's on the list.

2:00 PM - Another light snack

They have a list of things to do each day and they can generally order their day, with the exception of math which I insist upon being done early.  In the olden days, math could drag for hours if it was left to a less brain ready time of day.

I also have had them use timers during math so they are aware of the time.  They are allotted an hour, but generally finish in much less time.  If the hour bell rings, they have to stop and do push ups, do something else on their list, then return to math later.

The good news is that in middle school, your child may be able to help you figure it all out.  Have a conversation with them.  First, get away from the situation, preferably alone with them.  Ask "What is bothering you about school?  Is it the material?  Is it too hard, too easy, too boring?  Is it my teaching method?  Are you upset about something?  Are you tired, unhappy, or overwhelmed?"  Let them try to voice their issue.  Sometimes that is all it takes.  To know you care.  And they may put out more effort for you afterwards.  Or, they may not.  But, your relationship will be stronger.

4.  As always, pray for God's wisdom.  He has it when we don't.  He knows how much structure you need.  You may need more.  You may need less.  Depends on what you have going on right now and both your and your child's personalities. 

The Proverbs 31 Woman - Part 5

Remember that I wrote this a few years ago, but rather than update it, I'll leave the potty-training references for those of you who are in that stage, although I am moving towards the student-driver stage. Which one is scarier? I'll let you know!

Repeated again: The Proverbs 31 woman is a WORKER.

v. 17 says
She girds herself with strength,
And makes her arms strong.

How many of you are stronger now than you were before you had kids? Toting around 30 pounds on one arm while pushing a grocery cart with the other is no longer such a big deal to me. God seems to give us a natural strength to get things done that maybe we never thought we could.

Again, the Proverbs 31 woman is a WORKER.

v. 18 says
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.

If I could leave you with only one thought today, it would come from this verse. The Proverbs 31 woman “senses that her gain is good:” She knows that what she is doing is important! What you are doing today, matters for a lifetime! It may seem at times to be monotonous: household chores mixed up with tea parties and potty training, but it is all important. You are training your child. Some things you are consciously training and some things you are unconsciously training, but everything you do will have an effect on your child.

Think about how much more like your mother you are now than when you were, say, thirteen years old. Your children will be like you too. You can help them to be hard-working, loyal, loving, friendly, and devoted to God. Your example is a HUGE influence on their life -- positive or negative.

Just understanding that gives me reason to keep going. Sometimes I really feel like I’ve had it. In fact, just last week I had this strong feeling that life as a mom was too tough for me. But, then I have to think, what example am I showing Holly and Elijah? I don’t want them to quit when the going gets tough. I don’t want them to complain and whine either, like Mommy does!

In Progress

If you plant a seed, you know it will take a week or two before you see any signs of life.  And then you watch this feeble little stem begin to come up out of the ground.  You can look at the plant everyday and notice a little more growth.  The stem thickens and grows taller.  Leaves sprout and buds form.  Soon you have fruit or flowers and you hardly remember the day when you planted the seed.

Children are like that.  In Psalm 127:3, we find that our reward is in “the fruit of the womb” and, in Psalm 128:3, children are compared to “olive plants round about thy table.”  Children are begun as seed in the womb; we don’t see them for a time.  They are “underground” in our bellies, yet growing all the time.

Then, they burst forth – ouch!  And, at first, we can watch each tiny developing stage.  It happens so quickly and we are so focused on our little one that we can see growth happening.  They get a little longer, they add a little weight, they begin to reach and stretch and hold onto things.  We watch them begin to focus on the world around them and soon they are sitting, crawling, walking, running.

Those first few years, everything happens so quickly, we can see it.  But, then that rapid growth fades and changes become more gradual, more subtle.  Suddenly, I am looking at a young woman and a young man – where did the time go?  And look how much they’ve changed. 

They’ve gained a hundred pounds and grown three or four feet taller. They can outrun me.  Sometimes they outthink me.  They’ve changed in manner, attitude, and behavior.  But, it all happened so slowly that I missed a lot of it.  It is good to note the progress and the change.  And it is good to note whether the needs of the plant/child have changed.  Do they need fertilizer/love?  Do they need more water/love or nutrients/love?  Do they need pruning/discipline?  Do they need more or less sunshine/social activity?  Am I talking to my plant or listening to my child enough?

As I consider some of the progress we’ve made lately, I see:

1.       My son is able to clean his room well and on his own.  This is a miraculous growth spurt over last year.

2.       My daughter has begun to speak unprompted in social settings – not often, but enough to show me that she is beginning to come out of her shell.

3.       Traces of responsibility are showing up:  picking up something off the floor unasked (even when they were not the one who dropped it!); stopping the “stall” during school work and just getting the work done without (much) complaint; working out differences without parental intervention; maintaining regular “Rat Club” dues, paying for pet food and accessories, and taking care of all pet rat needs without a bit of complaint.

I can think of some more progress I’d like to see.  Some days I am anxious for the fruit and the flowers.  But, they are not ripe yet.  We still have years of cultivation ahead.  I thank God for allowing me to tend this little patch of His garden.

Oh, the Memories

This article was originally printed in my MOPS group's "Pitter Patter" newsletter in March 2000 when my children were 3 and 1.  If it is any consolation for those who are in the throes of potty training, I had forgotten all about this day!

It was one of those mornings where I had a big agenda.  We needed to run some errands.  I had been cooped up in the house for several days due to car trouble and this was my chance to start catching up on life on the outside.

I wanted to sandwich in four stops before nap-time struck.  I packed juice and bottles, and extra clothes for my potty-training three year old, Holly, and diapers for my toddler, Elijah.  Cool weather forced us to take a little longer to bundle up in jackets, but still we were making pretty good time.

We dropped off cute baby photo negatives with the developer.  Check.

We made two deposits at the bank.  Check.  We were really clicking along. Maybe we would have time to swing by McDonald’s for a little snack and playtime.  Let me be the hero today.

“But, first, let’s go to the craft store to get supplies for that Sunday School project.” Well, I found one thing on the list.  “How ‘bout one last stop and then, I promise, we can go get something to eat.”

Party City.  I needed “gummy worms” to complete my daughter’s Sunday School snack plans.  They had them.  This was a breeze.

Yes, a breeze with an odor.  My son decided it was time for a potty break.  I drove the cart down the aisle to the back of the store and checked out the situation.  Two large unisex restrooms.  So far, so good.

Trying to be quick and cool, rather than practical, I had thrown one diaper and one travel wipes box into the cart -- no need to lug in a whole diaper bag.

A peek through the open restroom door confirmed the sad fact, no diaper changing table.  “Oh well, we’ve changed you on the floor before, haven’t we, big guy?”  Holly looked doubtful.  “Mommy can handle it.”

I pulled Elijah’s jacket off and laid it down for padding under his head.  Then the struggle began.  My sweet little boy did not want to lay down.  He struggled and screamed until I had to throw one leg over top of his body to hold him down while I deftly removed the diaper.

Gush.

Suddenly, the floor, his clothes, and my sweater were wet.  My daughter said, “I told you not to change him on that floor.”

I was no longer the hero.  I was upset and frustrated.  I ripped his clothes off, threw on a new diaper and tried to clean up the toxic waste spill the best I could with paper towels while keeping Elijah from dipping his fingers in the toilet bowl.  I hadn’t brought in any clean clothes, so I had to put his jacket on over his bare chest and zip it up. I had to put shoes on bare little feet.

“Let’s get out of here -- now!” Why is it, I wondered that I always go a half hour too long? I am sure the people we passed by were wondering why I chose to dress my son in practically nothing on such a chilly day.  Bad mom.

“Pride goeth before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). I realized I was relying on myself to figure out what was best.  I thought I could handle it on my own. God -- and Elijah -- proved me wrong again.

I need help.

I need God’s help for patience, strength and endurance. I get that through prayer.

I need my family’s help. I can’t face 24 hour shifts of care-taking on my own. I need my husband and babysitters to take charge sometimes.

I need to listen to wise counsel -- after all, Holly told me not to go in there.

I need to relax.  I really don’t have to accomplish everything in one day. That last errand could have waited.

I need friends.  People like you who read this and say, “Yeah, you think that’s bad? You should have seen when I took my kids to...”

Thanks for listening. Thanks for understanding.

Reclaiming Marriage

Can you hear the assault waves crashing on the beaches of traditional marriage?  One after another, each wave causes more and more erosion.  A new wave is coming.  Or, I should say, a new wave is here.  For the first time, yesterday, I learned that there is a TV show on TLC called Sister Wives.  This reality show chronicles the lives of a man, his four wives – did you even blink when I said FOUR wives? -- and thirteen children.  They were originally living in Utah (who would have guessed that?), but when the heat started turning up there they moved to Vegas where no one is bothering them at all.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?

But, what is happening there?  This lovely family is showing you just how “normal” polygamy can be.  Here is a handsome, personable man with his attractive, upbeat wives, having a great time together.  There is apparently enough jealousy between them to keep the show interesting for those who like soap opera drama.  But, all in all, they say, they just love one another, love their kids, and should be left alone.

This is the same line that has lead us down the path of tolerance, then acceptance, then glorification of gay and lesbian families in America.  I recently read that a family in England was denied the privilege of adoption because their biblical Christian beliefs will not allow them to sugar-coat the idea of homosexuality.  They refused to feed “tolerant” lies to the children they raise.  Here, in the state of Florida, homosexual adoption is still illegal, but for how long?  The sands are shifting everywhere.

I was under the impression that you cannot legally make a profit from committing a crime (see:  http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2239/how-are-criminals-prevented-from-profiting-from-their-crimes), so, how come this polygamous family gets to make lots of money from filming their day-to-day lives of crime?

Because no one is saying or doing anything about it.  There are about 15 pockets of known polygamous groups in the United States.  Most are off-shoots (not recognized) by the Mormon church, but there are a few Muslim groups as well.  (Did you know that Mohammed was a polygamist?)  Our law enforcement apparently got tired of enforcing this particular law.  And now, the police in Las Vegas are apparently downright ignoring it.  All this is going on as our President encourages the non-enforcement of the Defense of Marriage Act – a law that has been ratified by Congress and has NOT been shown to be unconstitutional!

Why is that a problem?  Live and let live, you say.  But, the denigration of the human family – one man and one woman bonded in marriage for the purpose of pro-creation – leads to the denigration of society as a whole.  Every great empire that has fallen has shown symptoms of disease in this area.  Once the idea of homosexuality is accepted and applauded (as it was in Roman and Greek culture), the door is open to every type of perverse behavior.  If I can marry the same gender, what will stop me from marrying an animal, or a young child, or a baby, or 6 wives or 3 husbands?  There is no end.

God created one male and one female and called it “good.”  He put them in a garden setting because He was cultivating.  He was cultivating plants and animals.  He cultivated the family.  He created the institution of marriage.  It was designed to give the best greenhouse accommodations for “godly offspring.”

Malachi 2:15

And did not he make one? …And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth

You say, “Well, some of the patriarchs had more than one wife.”  That is true.  And some of the patriarchs were murderers and adulterers and liars as well.  It is through Abraham’s concubine, Hagar, that we have the unrest in the Middle East -– Ishmael is still at war with Isaac. 

If we do not live in godly relationships (man and wife), we will not get godly offspring.  And the world is ungodly enough without adding more ungodly offspring.  We need to start putting sandbags down to stop this erosion!

Sandbag #1 - Keep our marriages sacred.  Stay married to the man you married.  Pray for him daily.  If you don't know what to pray, get a copy of Stomie O'Martian's book Power of a Praying Wife.

Sandbag #2 - Teach your children by word and example that marriage is godly.  Make it look inviting and yummy.  It is not a vegetable or a pill we must take.  We don't want them to spit it out!  Need help?  Check out Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

Sandbag #3 - Encourage your children to marry and raise godly children.  It is not easy to come against the feminist influences of our times, so try reading So Much More by Ana Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin.

Sandbag #4 - Pray for our city, state, nation, world.  Pray that we will return to the values that God desires for us.  (2 Chronicles 7:14, "If my people will humble themselves and pray...)

Sandbag #5 - Seek for something you can do to encourage our legislators and policy makers in the area of godly marriage.

Surprise Me!

Below is an article I wrote for my MOPS group's "Pitter Patter" newsletter way back in October of 1999 when my children were 3 and 1.  It was a good reminder to me of the goals I still have today.

Recently, I overhead a mother and her daughter talking outside the "Body Zone" exhibit at the Orlando Science Center. The mom was restraining her young daughter from rushing right into the mouth (literally) of the exhibit.  "Let’s read the sign and see what this is all about first -- let’s see what we are getting into here," she reasoned with the little girl.  "I’d rather be surprised," was the over-the-shoulder response as the little girl took off running.

This interchange reminded me how different people can be.  Whether by temperament or by choice, my kids will not grow up into miniature me's. They are their own individual selves and may be completely different from me.

I once heard the familiar proverb "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6) rephrased as "Train a child according to his bent..." This is a great wisdom that we should consider:  how to encourage our children in their individual gifts, abilities and talents rather than imposing our own ways and means and dreams on them.

The best way I know is to give lots of praise for each accomplishment, however small.  If Holly colors a picture – even outside the lines – she gets two thumbs up from me.  Will she be an artist one day?  Who knows?  If Elijah utters a "da," he gets a boat-load of enthusiasm from me. Will he be a preacher one day? Who knows?

My children don’t have to be perfect and they don’t have to be like me. I just need to encourage them to do what they like to do in they way that they like to do it. And give them enough room to read the signs ahead or to just "be surprised."

Parenting Nightmare

I was sucked into an Oprah show yesterday.  I only saw about half of it, but it was detailing the life of a boy with emotional problems.  Apparently, before he was age 2, he had “uncontrollable rages;” “not the normal 2-year old tantrums,” the mom insisted.  He was later diagnosed as having some sensory issues, being too affected by clothing textures, sounds, etc.  At age 7 or 8, he drew a picture (on the wall) about shooting his mom.  In his tweens, he picked up a knife in a threatening manner toward his mom.  In fact, most of his aggression is aimed towards his mom.  She realized that after the knife incident.

The treatment for his behavior has been medication, which caused him memory loss, educational loss, and probably some personality loss which is normal for those types of drugs.

My first thought was that his parents did not discipline him for his rages when he was younger, so they grew.  But, as they talked, there was more to it than that.  The boy hears “voices” in his head that tell him to do bad things.  He feels that they are “outside” voices, not his own voice.  Sometimes they sound like his dad or late grandfather.  He has been taught now that they are just “negative energy” and if he concentrates on “positive energy,” he is able to overcome them.  This is part of the therapy he receives from psychologists who have him concentrate on “white light” to calm the voices.

I am grieved that these people, both parents and doctors – probably all very well-meaning individuals – have no idea what they are dealing with.  Their problem is spiritual and their answer is spiritual. 

Matthew 17:14-21 (NKJV)

And when they had come to the multitude, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water.  So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him.”

Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me.”  And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour.

Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?”

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

Hearing outside voices is a sign of demonic activity.  There was some open door for this child at a young age – through New Age, occult, family curse, TV, movie or music activities, I would guess – that gave Satan’s hoard a foothold.  The power of the demons has increased exponentially because they are not stopped.  The boy may think that he has control now, but that will end as a lie.  Demons are great liars.  I dread to see him in court someday, a grown man, a murderer, saying, “It wasn’t me; it was the voices.”

At the age of 18 months, my daughter had horrible temper tantrums.  Mostly at home, mostly with me.  At the age of 2, she started having nightmares and then, later, night terrors.  She would be screaming and thrashing in her sleep for long periods, but have no recollection of it in the morning.  At first, we took the world’s advice – parenting books advised that this was “normal behavior,” a “stage” – and did nothing.  Then, the Lord began dealing with us.  This was a spiritual matter.  It needed prayer.  We began praying deliverance over our daughter.  In Jesus’ name, we took command over the devil that was working in her.  And that was it.  That night.  Done.  Cured.

We then went hunting for what had been the open door and shut it.  We found that, at too young an age, we had allowed her to watch TV and movies (Dragon Tales, Arthur, and even Disney’s Cinderella) which had spiritual components which we had laughed off.  Dragon Tales uses spells, Arthur’s friend is a fortune teller, and the stepmother in Cinderella was an evil influence.  We have been radical ever since in being vigilant over what our children watch.  They have been vigilant themselves.  Even as tweens and teens, they cover their eyes for most movie previews and for many TV commercials.  They watch very little TV and it Is a rare movie we can see at the movie-house.  They have “made a covenant with their eyes” like Job did (Job 31:1) and have agreed with David in the Psalm:

Psalm 101:3 (KJV)

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; [it] shall not cleave to me.

Our children started this because we mandated it.  But, they remain because they see the good effect.  They don’t get bad dreams.  They don’t have tons of bad thoughts.  When they get out from under this covenant, they know they suffer for it.

Oprah reported that there are millions of children in America diagnosed like that one boy, with “mental” or “emotional” problems.  She encourages them to seek out New Age treatments.  To be “one with the universe” and only allow “positive energy” to flow.  The problem is, that they don’t have access to the real “positive energy.”  It is the devil who poses as an “angel of light.”  They are seeking a spiritual realm, but they have not found God’s realm.  There is only one way to get to God’s realm – through Jesus Christ.  Without Him, their “cures” will be temporary and meaningless.  I prayed that this young man would find Christ.  He and his whole family.  And Oprah too.  If they don’t, America is facing nightmares ahead.