The Proverbs 31 woman is to be GOOD TO HER HUSBAND.
v. 12 says
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
That sounds so simple. Of course we want to do good for our husbands. We are not putting arsenic in his food or even swishing his toothbrush in the toilet when he isn’t looking. But, at 5:17 PM when I have a hot meal on the table and Paul isn’t home yet and I’ve got one kid screaming in my ear and the other one pulling on my leg, what ARE my intentions for him? Am I thinking, “Oh the poor dear, must be stuck in traffic again?” Or am I screaming on the inside: “Just wait until that so-and-so gets home; he can take care of the kids and I don’t care if his food IS cold? I’m going to go take a bath and see how he likes just being stuck all alone here!”
When I feel more like that, verse 12 gives me something to shoot for. Do him “good and not evil.” Sometimes I have to repeat that verse until it clicks. “Doing good” means saying uplifting and edifying words to my husband; "doing good" means washing his shirts without him asking me; "doing good" means greeting him at the door with a smile instead of shoving kids into his hands and pouring out my day like acid in his face.
In the book, The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace, she says “The goal of the Christian husband and wife in their marriage is to have a oneness that is characterized by a loving spiritual and physical bond that glorifies God and thereby enhances personal spiritual growth (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:22-33; Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 13:4)” [pg. 33]. She references Luke 17:10 which says, “So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘we are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'”
“Giving of yourself to your husband is not going above and beyond the call of duty. It is only doing as you ought. You ought to be kind to your husband. You ought to be open, transparent and honest with him.” [pg. 32].